c) Identify what values and beliefs are important to you and notice the times that you live and behave according to these values. Think about how you want to reinforce them for yourself.
d) Self-soothing is an important tool to help you feel grounded when life feels unstable and stressful so develop appreciative and soothing self-talk. It can help to have a maxim that you say to yourself regularly. e.g. “It’s all going to be OK” “I’m managing very well under these circumstances” “This too shall pass”
It is often the case that the most caring of people are very poor at looking after themselves and being compassionate about their own vulnerabilities. This is where you start!
e) Introduce yourself to the ‘Good Enough’ principle. This is an important way of helping you select the degree of energy and concern you give to different aspects of life. It helps your brain recognise that you are managing life according to new guidelines and reassures it that you don’t need the school report any more.
f) Learn how to affirm yourself. On post-it notes write supportive and appreciative comments to yourself. Have these in your pocket and stick them around your house – on your desk or computer or mirror. Read them regularly. Again this is brain training.
g) Encourage yourself to notice when other people appreciate or acknowledge you. These moments aren’t always writ large or loud so you have to develop a keen awareness on your own behalf.
The kind of change we are discussing here invites you to be your own best friend, but change is encouraged and maintained when other people are on board to notice and support it.
a) Recruit support from any friends colleagues or family members you can share this with, so they keep you to ‘task’ and encourage you to acknowledge and appreciate your strengths
b) Ask people what they like, appreciate or respect about you.
c) Check in with others who are close to you about their own experiences of the School Report and its colleagues. It can be very helpful to realise you are not alone in these experiences.
d) Write a letter to yourself as if ‘from an admirer’. Put it in a stamped self-addressed envelope and get someone to post it to you at any time they fancy so when it arrives it will be a lovely surprise.
e) On bad days write RESET on your hand and look at it from time to time to encourage you to stay in the moment and breathe!